It was about half a year ago when I accepted Christ as my Savior. When I think back to 1999 (two years ago), I realize that it was the most depressing time of my life. At that time my son had had a mental health problem for four years, and it became so serious that he had to stop his studies and rest at home. By then, he had already seen four psychiatrists, and also taken a lot of medications, but none seemed to be able to control his illness. My family then started to lose faith in the doctors and medications. Because my wife and I had different views on how to solve problems, in addition to my depressing state, we started to blame each other for the problems, just like we would our enemies, therefore we stopped discussing the marriage and feeling stuff. I went through a lot of pain at that time, because our family had lost its warmth and love, and all we had was flaws and accusations. Everyday when I finished my work, I never wanted to return home, dreading the thought, so I put all my energy into my job and other activities. I started to learn the art of Qi Gong to help control myself, and although it only helped a little, I went all for it. Because of all this family fighting, and because I had no power to change this situation, I felt like I wasn't part of a family.

During the Fall of 1999, my son stopped taking the medicines, and for a period of time, he wouldn't eat or sleep. My wife and I felt that we were out of ideas, therefore I insisted that we had to send our son to the hospital for treatment. With the help of our family doctor, we got the police to bring him to the CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario). The psychiatric department encouraged their patients to involve themselves in the activities arranged by the doctors, and work with the employees. If the patients cooperated, they earned the privilege of using the telephone and watch TV. But, if they chose not to cooperate, they lost all these privileges and would be isolated from the others. My son didn't understand why he was sent there, and so he became uncooperative with doctors and refused to take his medicine, thus being punished. The doctor in charge of my son requested my wife and me not to visit our son for two weeks. This was to use force to change his attitude. But instead of helping, this only increased his anger and hatred. At this time, my son hated every doctor and most of all hated the one that delivered him to that “hell” (the hospital), me. After a while, every time I went to visit my son, more to his disliking, he would say to me, “I hope you get hit by a car when you leave.” When I heard this, I was heart-broken, because I understood his pain, his spiritual torture, not being able to feel any love around him.

When the doctor told me that he gave up, and had me take my son home, I felt totally helpless. I didn't know how I could ever live in harmony with my son again. To add to this chaos, my wife suggested that I move because she didn't want to see me again. It felt like I was in an abyss, and that no one in this world could ever help me. I always thought that I could rely on my spiritual persistence and hard work to solve anything. It was then that I realized I was weak and powerless, not even being able to maintain my family.

When my son came home from the hospital, he started to express his anger freely ......but not long after, things started to change. My older daughter had been baptized, and consistently shared the gospel with my son. Sometimes, she even took him to church. One day, when I came back from work, as I was entering the house, my son, smiling, said to me “Dad, I forgive you. I forgive all the doctors and everyone I have hated because God wants me to forgive them.” This really was a miracle! Without God's love, he would never have been able to have such a quick change. I could not forget this change that happened to my son. With the encouragement my daughter gave me and the invitation from Mrs. Choi, my wife and I began to go to church and listen to the sermons. I had this wish that I needed to rely on God, because I already saw for myself that I could not rely on myself, and that I needed God's blessing to construct a family filled with love.

Under Mr. Kong's teaching, and a few months of learning, I knew that God was calling me to Him. I couldn't refuse God once again like in the past. Before, I thought myself as the center of the universe, not even knowing my own sins, breaking up my family. Since I confessed and accepted God, I felt the love that was once in my family come back again. Our fusses, hatred, blaming and sorrow ceased. I began to understand what it was like to be peaceful and satisfied. I learned to trust God in everything, and my worries and doubts started to flow away.

I need to worship God with thanks, because He called me, and gave me a beautiful family. I knew that if I didn't want to sin again, there was only one way, and that way is God's way!